I didn't shave. On purpose
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
