her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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