Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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