and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
