Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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