Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
