Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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