is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
