everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
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Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
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Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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