Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
