May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
