this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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