the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
