Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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