we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
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