Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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