oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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