The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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