So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
