A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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