Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
