Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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