I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
