DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
