A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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