I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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