They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
