So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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