Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
