Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
