dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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