Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
