I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
