before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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