You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I am one with the molecules
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
