didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
