is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
