Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
