i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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