If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
