I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
