thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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