new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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