i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
