I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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