I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
