sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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