If i come over, it means nothing
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
