Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
