Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
