Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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