You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
