You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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