did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
