guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
