I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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