I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
