He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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