Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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