I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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