I love black thongs
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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