we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was like eating out sand paper
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
